I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize