Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
