In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Randomize
