i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
