And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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