The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
