We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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