Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
