I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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