He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
there is glitter all over my balls
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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