Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Randomize
