I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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