i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the high leading the old right now
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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