just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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