Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Randomize
