if i can run in heels then i can drive
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
