wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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