And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
