Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Randomize
