at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
