if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I got her a Nickelback box set.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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