So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
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my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
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In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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