moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
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