and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Do vagina's smell?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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