so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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