i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
