so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
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