My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
