We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
