And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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