I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Can I color on your dick again?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
