Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
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