I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
