Need sex. Gaining weight.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
