He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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