My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
