You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
