Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
