Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
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