Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
This is my life. Enjoy the view
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
