If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
please come you make the beer taste better
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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