whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I can't trust your balls anymore.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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