I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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