I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
