you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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