ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
