I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
