If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
