Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
