I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
worst night to have a conscience
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
