I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
