We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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