she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
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