Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Princesses don't give blow jobs
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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