just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
