I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
