We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Randomize
