What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
