Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
