I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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