Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
