I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
