what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
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