My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
