we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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