she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
