Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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