if only i could text you this smell
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
We're not piercing ourselves today.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I would ride that face into the sunset
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